YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN TANZANIA WHEN....

-A gecko poos on your head (like tonight!)
-You find a gecko hiding in your towel when you go to dry yourself.
-You politely tell someone in Swahili you want to drink and you’ve just told them you want to poo (kunywa v kunya)!
-Someone asks if you want to drive with a live rooster he is holding on your lap or in a box.
-You drive down a road so terrible it jars every bone in your body and your muscles are tired from clenching
-That same road is littered with pedestrians who are wearing beautifully coloured dresses that you would only wear if you were a bridesmaid….
-Clusters of warrior men walk around wearing only bright red blankets and machetes
-These same men wear tyre tread for shoes and have large holes in their ear lobes and carry cellphones
-You are served chai with lots of milk and sugar whether you like it or not.
-Women carry loads bigger than a washing machine on their heads.
-Men carry loads bigger than 2 washing machines on their bikes
-Men and women carry loads bigger than 3 washing machines on their donkeys.
-Men push wooden carts down the middle of the road with loads bigger than a small car.
-Small cars have to give way to men pushing big cars.
-People sell very large smelly dried fish in the market... and other people buy them.
-You have more mangoes and avocadoes falling off your trees than you or anyone you know can possibly eat
-Stray dogs sleep in the middle of the road.
-Goats dash across the road in front of your car without warning
-You stick to the paths when walking at night to avoid the tarantulas in the grass
-You feel nervous to put on your shoes when it has been raining in case a scorpion has crawled in.
-You cant run and jump on your bed because you will tear the mosquito net.
-Going to church means you dress up but dont show your knees and the preacher shouts for over an hour.
-Going for a walk takes 5 x longer than the west, because it means greeting everyone you meet with at least 3 enquiries regarding their day, family, work.
-You are overjoyed when you find apples in the store.
-You are even more overjoyed when you discover you can afford them.
-When your Swahili teacher tells you to "firsti resti" before you do your homework.
-you are so happy that the rains come
-you are so scared when the rains come and you drive in the river of mud that used to be a road.
-You are so happy when you slide down the mud road and dont hit anyone or anything.
-You are so upset that the mosquito you find in your net is full of blood.
-You are so happy the headache you have isn't malaria.
-Children run up to and say « shikamoo » (I respect you) and lower their head for a blessing.
-Children throw stones at you when you dont buy their bananas.
-When bright pink, bright yellow, bright green and bright orange are the standard colours for dresses. Sometimes all at the same time
-When womens hair is either elaborately braided or covered with a large bright fabric or wig…

KARIBU TANZANIA!!

Comments

Margie Gush said…
Oh my word - did I giggle when I read this - WELCOME TO AFRICA!!!- love you all
Margie
Si- said…
Wow, guys, sounds like an interesting place to live. Maybe I will visit Tanz sometime... Hope you're all safe and happy. Pole sana about the gecko poo. Miss you guys!